by Katrina Smith
“A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.” Proverbs 12:4
Crown – “A royal headdress or cap of sovereignty, worn by emperors, kings, princes, etc.”
Rotten – “A state of putrefaction or decay; decomposed; made weak or unsound by rot.”
Crowns are placed on a person’s head when they are deemed royalty. If you are respected as a woman of noble character, because you are kind, positive, giving and supportive, your husband will be deemed a king. Your character and reputation can elevate his position in life. Now, if you are a woman of disgrace, by being bitter, throwing tantrums when you don’t get your way, always thinking in a selfish manner, then it is like rottenness to his bones. Wow.
The bible chose “rotten” as a word, meaning, your poor character will cause him to decay as a man emasculating him in every since of the word, all the way to the bone. Now before I get jumped on by the women, let’s give an example of a real time occurrence.
Right now as I write, I can guarantee you there is a man in the ARMY stationed in Afghanistan where he has been sleeping in the desert for 7 months on ground that shakes constantly from bombs going off. He just longs to get home to see his family, take a shower and eat some real food. His son was barely sitting up when he last saw him and now he is walking. His wife calls him weekly and she is nagging him about being away and how she feels lonely, how this is rough on her and how all she does is take care of the baby. She needs a break but little does he know that she has been flirting and mingling with an ex-boyfriend and spending all of their money and maxing out their credit cards while all of their bills are falling behind. Next week, one of his friends will write to tell him of the betrayal.
On the other hand, a fellow soldier that is stationed with him also has a wife and a child and she works as a teacher but there have been cut-backs and just lost her job. Her students always made care packages and cards to send to the soldiers thanking them for their service and sacrifice. They are having financial trouble but she picks up a part-time job at the local restaurant to keep their home and goes to bible study at the same church that they were both baptized and married in. She stays 30 minutes after every single bible study in private prayer. When her husband calls, she begins the call with prayer and then uses uplifting words of encouragement, wisdom, loving support and gives him the courage to hang in there.
Now, which man will likely be focused on their mission? Which one is more likely to rise in rank and position? Which will be in a better state of mind to lead and inspire the teenagers that were just enlisted, trained and shipped? The one that is being built up, encouraged and supported or the one being nagged, belittled and betrayed?
Women are either cranes or a bulldozers; a crown on his head or a thorn in his side. We have the ability to build a man up or tear him down; to give him honor and respect or bring him pain and misery. Our character, attitude and actions have a direct affect on his masculinity, the very thing that makes him a man. They were created to cover, redeem, provide and to protect and we were created to give, support, encourage and motivate. It is suppose to be a team effort. If we both are doing our jobs, then there is no need to worry. Love is not self-seeking.
For the women… seek to become a crane not a bulldozer.
For the men… choose wisely!